Kill Her

Dear God,

I’ve been living a secret life; another side of me that no one knows other then you. It’s my secret life that my flesh enjoys, but my spirit weeps in heartaches and pain. It’s my secret life I know that if others found out, I would be ashamed. It’s something I do that I know I shouldn't be doing, and I am not proud of, yet for some reason I still do it. And I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to break away from it.

This was never supposed to happen. I was never supposed to have this secret life. How did I let it get this far? Why did I let my true self give in to the temptations? I hate it. I hate this person. I hate what it has become and for hurting you God. I hate that it justifies the truth so that it can keep feeding itself with lies and sin.

Lord help me. Renew my heart, search me long. Reveal everything in my life that is not of you. Bring it to the light so that it is exposed by your love. God please, I need your break through. I need your light to shine again in my deepest darkest secrets that I try to hide. But you Lord know everything about me. There is nothing that I can hide from you. Yet you love me, knowing all my shame and guilty sin. You still love me even when I hurt you. You love me even though I ignored you when you tried to tell me to walk away.

Father, I am sorry!!!

I want you to take that life and burn it forever. KILL HER! I want that side of me gone for good. No more.

Kill this secret life that brings me temporary satisfaction, that will end up in eternal destruction. Separate me from this old life and turn me back to you and the new life that you have given me. Lord, thank you for your grace. Truly only your Love can change a person's heart.

I don't want to live this double life anymore. The life of looking good from the outside, but deep inside I keep things in the dark that shouldn't be there. Remove it all God. I don't want it! I don't need it! Lord help me...please Daddy, help me.

Wrap me in your arms and protect me from the evil one. No more double lives God. Just one life, and that's my life to you. I only want you! My secret life is gone, dead, and never to return again. Lord I need you close. I know you will help me. Protect and guide me. Let your Truth activate in my life.

Thank you for rescuing me. I love you dad.

~LEKA~